Are You In A Relationship Or A Situationship | Real Talk

You're involved with someone, you're more than friends, but it's not quite a relationship, it's not quite defined. This is known as a situationship.
Many people have been in this situation during their dating period or are currently even in it right now. 
Probably you're aware that you're in a situationship but you're in too much of a denial to do something about it. So you continue staying with him hoping that he'll change or even go as far as trying to change him yourself. 
It's time you evaluate your life and your worth and get out of that situationship.

How to know if you're in a relationship or situationship. 

1. Are you claiming a man that's not claiming you? 

I know they say labels don't matter. But at least you should be respected and acknowledged as someone who has a special place in his life. 

If he keeps introducing you as a "friend" or he just says "This is (insert your name)", without any other tag, after dating for several months, then my dear, you should be worried. Especially if you already tell people he's your boyfriend or you've been sleeping together for months. 

I'm not saying he has to plaster your pictures all over social media with declarations of love, but at least he should let people close to him know you're important to him. 

2. You're not the only one he's "dealing" with. 

You know he's with other women, but you fool yourself saying you're the main chick. There's no such thing as main chick. Or at least I don't personally believe in it; it's either you're his only girlfriend or you're not his girlfriend. 
Don't sell yourself short please. Stop claiming main chick. 

It's different if you were in a committed relationship with him and maybe he cheated one time (that's up to you to deal with it the way you choose). But if he's constantly dating other women the same way he's dating you, then you're in a situationship, not a relationship. 

3. How did the relationship start off?

How did you guys start dating? Maybe you were friends first and then you started sleeping together. 
Then you asked him the "what are we doing?" question and he says "we're just having fun right?" or he says "Let's see how it goes". 

So you end up staying for months or years even, waiting to see how it goes, hoping that he'll get it together and define your relationship. 
But in the mean time he's sleeping with other girls and everytime you protest, he's quick to remind you that you're not his girlfriend or that you guys are not official. 

4. How's the communication between the two of you?

Do you guys speak on the phone and have meaningful conversations frequently or he only calls you when he wants you to "come over"? Or he only calls in the middle of the night when he's in the mood. 

Does he ask you about your day, or does he care or listen to your personal problems or issues you might be having? Does he talk to you about his day or about his own personal issues. Do you talk about your families, do you discuss/plan your future together? 

I could go on and on but these are some of the signs you should look out for in your relationship to know if it's going in the right direction.
Many ladies are wasting their time and life in a relationship/situationship that they have no business being in. Most times end up bringing in children into such environments, which consequently affect these children negatively.

Don't stay in a situationship, it's not worth it, you're missing out on being in an amazing, loving relationship with someone who will love and respect you. 

Believe me, these type of relationships do exist, you just have to love yourself and you'll attract the kind of man that will love you the way you deserve. 


  1. Communication is such an important factor, and shouldn't be ignored! If you can't communicate - and I mean a combination of every level from 'sup' to a two hour indepth discussion of whatever topic is currently on both of your minds, then you need to consider how deep/serious your relationship actually is if you ask me! Does that mean every conversation my husband and I have is deep and lengthy? DEFINITELY NOT! But they do happen....

    Britt |

  2. You're absolutely right Britt. Communication is very important in any relationship. It can make or break any relationship, romantic or not. A couple should be about to talk to each other about anything and everything, if they're not able to talk at every level, or be very free with each other, then the relationship needs to be reevaluated.

    Thanks for stopping by and your input Britt.


Powered by Blogger.